Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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