im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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