He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.