Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.