Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me

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  (208): He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me http://tfl.nu/1pq8
  Replies (2) Good night (1043) Bad night (575)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.

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  (305): I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things. http://tfl.nu/z35b
  Replies (4) Good night (890) Bad night (1883)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.

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  (931): Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/ee6d
  Replies (5) Good night (2122) Bad night (710)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get

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  (252): its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get http://tfl.nu/sb3f
  Replies (18) Good night (1250) Bad night (3991)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?

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  (603): sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall? http://tfl.nu/ejbk
  Replies (8) Good night (2131) Bad night (812)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.

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  (404): Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here. http://tfl.nu/lskr
  Replies (3) Good night (1538) Bad night (826)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist

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  (615): Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist http://tfl.nu/58no
  Replies (8) Good night (1506) Bad night (650)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.

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  (417): nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml. http://tfl.nu/44ox
  Replies (3) Good night (931) Bad night (594)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk

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  (780): Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/rb5a
  Replies (4) Good night (1943) Bad night (428)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.

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  (941): We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/js7j
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (238)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok

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  (239): And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok http://tfl.nu/c91w
  Replies (1) Good night (829) Bad night (441)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.

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  (803): You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night. http://tfl.nu/009v
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (1022)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.

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  (+61): A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty. http://tfl.nu/ftfe
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (258)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.

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  (612): I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk. http://tfl.nu/mura
  Replies (0) Good night (466) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious

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  (518): Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious http://tfl.nu/hriw
  Replies (1) Good night (508) Bad night (278)

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