either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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