the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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