Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
