Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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