Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I need water and some morals
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
