just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So here I am, sexting at work.
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