So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
