i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I need water and some morals
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
