naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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