If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Small penises have feelings too.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
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Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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