No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
