Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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