I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
