I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
