butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
