I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
honey bunches of taint.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
