She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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