is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
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You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
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The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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