So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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