Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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