She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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