omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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