If i come over, it means nothing
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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