You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
