he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
