We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
