So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
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those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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