you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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