do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
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I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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