Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
