When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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