i may or may not be watching the land before time
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
