Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
