I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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