this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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