Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
