Define "chronic" masturbator.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
