Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?