4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
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i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
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I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.