Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.

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  (812): I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight. http://tfl.nu/uh5e
  Replies (2) Good night (1871) Bad night (2637)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it

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  (248): He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it http://tfl.nu/3ch4
  Replies (34) Good night (580) Bad night (3015)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.

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  (937): I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird. http://tfl.nu/7edr
  Replies (66) Good night (818) Bad night (5205)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out

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  (412): I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out http://tfl.nu/59g7
  Replies (12) Good night (4918) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.

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  (512): I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it. http://tfl.nu/p4f6
  Replies (26) Good night (646) Bad night (8022)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it

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  (914): i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it http://tfl.nu/9xaf
  Replies (36) Good night (7089) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  we're about an hour out, how's the weather?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.

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  (303): we're about an hour out, how's the weather? (720): cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home. http://tfl.nu/na0o
  Replies (14) Good night (6152) Bad night (1157)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster

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  (870): We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster http://tfl.nu/c1fy
  Replies (3) Good night (850) Bad night (1794)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.

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  (734): He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked. http://tfl.nu/9iel
  Replies (3) Good night (1094) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.

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  (770): My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways. http://tfl.nu/0awx
  Replies (4) Good night (592) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it

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  (765): This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it http://tfl.nu/dka3
  Replies (7) Good night (585) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  the liver wants what the liver wants

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  (908): the liver wants what the liver wants http://tfl.nu/f32q
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.

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  (503): I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress. http://tfl.nu/qmrb
  Replies (6) Good night (423) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts

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  (203): i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts http://tfl.nu/1fmb
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.

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  (501): When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot. http://tfl.nu/as5j
  Replies (1) Good night (997) Bad night (265)

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