Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian

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  (415): i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian http://tfl.nu/vq1a
  Replies (8) Good night (1934) Bad night (875)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it

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  (205): it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it http://tfl.nu/0her
  Replies (11) Good night (5418) Bad night (657)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.

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  (817): MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice. http://tfl.nu/3445
  Replies (10) Good night (802) Bad night (3219)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This gyro tastes like lonliness

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  (402): This gyro tastes like lonliness http://tfl.nu/d72i
  Replies (14) Good night (882) Bad night (4020)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.

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  (920): I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either. http://tfl.nu/oep9
  Replies (3) Good night (2734) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.

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  (+44): listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all. http://tfl.nu/7xa1
  Replies (8) Good night (1162) Bad night (2656)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.

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  (732): I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds. http://tfl.nu/t1fp
  Replies (4) Good night (1736) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.

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  (248): Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins. http://tfl.nu/7yz7
  Replies (2) Good night (1624) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.

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  (864): Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night. http://tfl.nu/lqaz
  Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (1560)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!

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  (206): AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN! http://tfl.nu/o93p
  Replies (4) Good night (923) Bad night (1615)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."

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  (559): I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce." http://tfl.nu/n8hm
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused

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  (940): I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused http://tfl.nu/s5e1
  Replies (2) Good night (952) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.

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  (818): She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink. http://tfl.nu/8b21
  Replies (5) Good night (272) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.

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  (973): I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early. http://tfl.nu/apcg
  Replies (3) Good night (745) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.

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  (503): It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings. http://tfl.nu/z3ih
  Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (248)

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