I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
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SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.