i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
