he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?