tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.