remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
