I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i think i just lost a toe
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
