Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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