Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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