My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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