hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
