I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're my little dorito
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
