So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
