You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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