My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
