dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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