All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
