will power is for people who don't want to get laid
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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