capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize