i just google imaged poop.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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