How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
