is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
