she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
