i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
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The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
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It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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