Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
