You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
