Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
