bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
