VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize