Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
