Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
