dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
